Monday, March 26, 2012

Is Chivalry Dead?

I’m all for women’s empowerment, trust me.  I grew up with a very liberal mother who I’m sure burned a bra or two at a demonstrations in the 60s.  Some of her women’s lib-ness may just have rubbed off on me.   (I remember even having a Rosie the Riveter postcard with the “We Can Do It” slogan hanging in my locker in high school).

And while I’m all for feminism, there is still something in me that swoons at a cheesy chick-flick when a man comes in to rescue a damsel in distress.  When I was a young teenager and first met my daughters’ father, I was immediately attracted to his gallantry.  For example, he would open my car door, each and every time we went somewhere, and it never stopped, and it always made me smile. 

I appreciate a guy who opens a door for a woman, lets a woman into or out of the elevator first, puts out his arm out to guide a woman to proceed first, helps a woman with her coat.  Call it a crazy mix of women’s lib and old-fashioned values, but I like to call these good manners.  If I had a son, I would love to see him do these things.  For me, it is a sign of respect. (And just as well, I'd love to see my daughters show respect to others by doing simple things like holding a door open and not expecting it to always be held for them).

So I ask the question, is chivalry dying a slow death?

I had dinner with a former co-worker the other night (non-romantic date, simply catch-up).  I could tell he had “good manners” and was very attentive to a woman companion.  He put his arm out to guide me to follow the hostess to our table, he asked for my opinion on a wine.  He was polite, in a very chivalrous way.

But then I went on a big city trip this past weekend.  I had two small kids in tow.  I could not believe how many times men cut in front of us, stepped in to elevators before us, and failed to hold doors open for us.  I even once looked over at my mother and raised my eyebrows and she kind of shook her head a little bit.

One example of chivalry still be alive and well and another example of chivalry dying a slow death.  Maybe I just so happened to have dinner with a nice guy.  And maybe I just so happened to witness what life can be like in a hectic big city.

What say ye?  Do you despise chivalry all together?  Do you think it’s here to stay?  Or is it dying a slow death?

5 comments:

Unknown said...

I hope that it is not. Hope and pray. I have a friend that is chivalrous as can be : ) I love being with him. I was surprised when I started dating my husband, because although he is wonderful in many ways, he does not really do chivalrous things. I hope Kaish grows up to be chivalrous!

L said...

I know in London men are afraid to offer up a seat to a woman because plenty of London women have kicked up a fuss about it - they don't want to be treated as weaklings!

*Jess* said...

I am not a well-traveled woman, but I was blown away by the manners and helpfullness of the people of Boston. We went there as a family when Jaina was 3 and Jayce was only 5 months old. I had a double stroller and some of the subway stops did not have elevators, only stairs. So many people helped me carry a double stroller up subway stairs, without me even asking for help! I sincerely hope its not dead. Of course, I live in the South and manners are pretty big around here!

Liz {Learning To Juggle} said...

It funny I was thinking about this the other day - at work I take the elevator in the morning to my third floor cubicle - I always appreciate when the men in the elevator let me off first, my hubby ALWAYS holds the door for me and I love that too.

I do have to say though that I don't think its just chivalry that is dying, but basic common courtesy - everyone is in such a rush that they don't have time to hold the door. I have actually had a friend walk through a door ahead of me and not hold it open as they walked through essentially letting the door shut in my face. I do also think its not just men who are becoming less polite, but its more noticed.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

SLow death- with my husband as a contributor to it's death.