Is Chivalry Dead?

I’m all for women’s empowerment, trust me.  I grew up with a very liberal mother who I’m sure burned a bra or two at a demonstrations in the 60s.  Some of her women’s lib-ness may just have rubbed off on me.   (I remember even having a Rosie the Riveter postcard with the “We Can Do It” slogan hanging in my locker in high school).

And while I’m all for feminism, there is still something in me that swoons at a cheesy chick-flick when a man comes in to rescue a damsel in distress.  When I was a young teenager and first met my daughters’ father, I was immediately attracted to his gallantry.  For example, he would open my car door, each and every time we went somewhere, and it never stopped, and it always made me smile. 

I appreciate a guy who opens a door for a woman, lets a woman into or out of the elevator first, puts out his arm out to guide a woman to proceed first, helps a woman with her coat.  Call it a crazy mix of women’s lib and old-fashioned values, but I like to call these good manners.  If I had a son, I would love to see him do these things.  For me, it is a sign of respect. (And just as well, I'd love to see my daughters show respect to others by doing simple things like holding a door open and not expecting it to always be held for them).

So I ask the question, is chivalry dying a slow death?

I had dinner with a former co-worker the other night (non-romantic date, simply catch-up).  I could tell he had “good manners” and was very attentive to a woman companion.  He put his arm out to guide me to follow the hostess to our table, he asked for my opinion on a wine.  He was polite, in a very chivalrous way.

But then I went on a big city trip this past weekend.  I had two small kids in tow.  I could not believe how many times men cut in front of us, stepped in to elevators before us, and failed to hold doors open for us.  I even once looked over at my mother and raised my eyebrows and she kind of shook her head a little bit.

One example of chivalry still be alive and well and another example of chivalry dying a slow death.  Maybe I just so happened to have dinner with a nice guy.  And maybe I just so happened to witness what life can be like in a hectic big city.

What say ye?  Do you despise chivalry all together?  Do you think it’s here to stay?  Or is it dying a slow death?

Spiritual Healing

I was talking with a co-worker the other day.  She started opening up a bit about her past and some of the things she's gone through and how she's found herself again.  She mentioned that several years back she went to a center that was dedicated to personal "healing" - massages, aligning chakra, life coach, etc.  The more she talked about it, the more I thought about the place and made a note of the name, thinking I would look it up online at a later time.  Then the co-worker forwarded me a newsletter she received from the place.  I thought "What the heck, I'll give them a call". 
Now I'm a pretty skeptical person, Internet.  I believe in some things, but many things I take with a grain of salt.  I wasn't sure how open I would be to the process, but I made an appointment with an "intuitive healer and spiritual life coach" for her to align my chakras. I've never had this done before, and I barely understood anything about it.  And yes, I even Googled "chakras" to get a better understanding of it.

Chakras are our energy centers. They are the openings for life energy to flow into and out of our aura. Their function is to vitalize the physical body and to bring about the development of our self-consciousness. Having your chakras evaluated by a trained practitioner is a good way to get a better understanding of how your body functions on an energetic level.

Sounds kind of hokey right there, doesn't it? I'm not the incense burning, Buddha statues throughout the house, meditating kind of girl.  Not knocking it in any way, it's just not how I'm wired.  So it'd be accurate to say I felt a little apprehensive about the appointment I made, but I wanted to keep an open mind. (I often feel "off" inside and still have some anger that eats away at me that I want to let go). It couldn't hurt giving it a try; I'll try most anything once.

It turns out that the lady I made the appointment with has been doing this for many, many years, and does phone consultations with people all over the world.  She also has physic abilities. (Don't sign off yet!)  Now, I have had tarot cards read,  but only out of a yearly tradition for pure entertainment purposes with my older sister. 

Now I've probably convinced everyone that I'm a bit off my rocker by now!  Again, even I was rather skeptical as we began our session.  I kept telling myself over and over to keep an open mind though.

And boy, I have to tell you I was surprisingly enlightened by it all.  I needed that.  I need to learn to love myself again, and the session helped me realize that.  I was astounded by some of the things she was reading from my chakras, to the point I almost welled up with tears.  And I was not feeding her any information.  She was just spot on with what she "felt" my energy centers were telling her.  Kind of scary and weird at the same time.  I won't go in to all the details, because I'm still a little stunned by it myself.  She also focused on my general heath from reading my chakras, and told me I need to limit my gluten intake.  Interesting, because I never felt like I've had a gluten intolerance.

The crazy thing is, I made one more appointment with her.  It's not cheap.  But I'm intrigued. And if it's all in the name of making me feel better about me, have at it, I say! 

Still Cloth Diapering

Eighteen months in, and I'm still cloth diapering little Vee.  I'm still not some extreme tree-hugging, granola eating mama, but I'm happy with the choice to leave a little less of a footprint the second time around with diapering.  And I think we are nearing the end of our cloth diapering journey.  She's showing lots of signs of interest in potty training already.

So why have I decided to write about cloth diapers?  I think simply because I have a load going in the wash as I type.  Oh, and Vee and I are signed up to participate in The Great Diaper Change 2012 to help set a new Guinness World Record. (We are doing it at a local cloth diaper store).

Here's What I Like About Cloth Diapering

• I never have to make a mad dash to the store because I'm out of diapers.  (A mad dash to the washer is another thing).
• Once I had my stash of diapers established (took a bit of time to find what I liked most), there was no more worry about purchasing diapers (self-restraint from buying cute ones seen online is tough though).
• Leaks are minimal, and explosions that aren't contained within the diaper never happen.
• My family is on board with cloth diapering when they look after her.
• We get the chance to be environmentally friendly.

Here's What I Don't Like About Cloth Diapering

• Poop!  I have a sprayer attached to the spare toilet in the house to rinse off solids, but this is just not fun.
• Stink!  I have to strip the cloth diapers with boiling hot water every few months to get the build-up out.  And I miss the summer sun when I get to hang the diapers out to bleach in the sun.

I do have a few exceptions to cloth diapering.  I use night time disposable diapers on her as she is a heavy wetter.  I know I could stuff lots and lots of inserts in her cloth diapers to help with this, I just opted not to do it.  And if we are out of town (vacation, weekend trips), I use disposables too.  It is simply more convenient.

BlogHer 2012 - NYC, Here I Come!

I’m going to BlogHer!  Wohoo!  Officially.  Each year it comes and goes and each year there is some reason why I couldn’t participate.  I guess this means I need to actually start blogging again. 

I think a few years ago I would have been most excited about the conference because I was truly “into” blogging. I had followers.  I had time to comment on others’ blogs.  I brainstormed ideas for future blog posts.  I even held a giveaway or two.  I trailed off on my blogging efforts over the past year and a half.  Took my old blog private.  Ditched my old blog.  Started a new blog.  Took it public.  And here she sits, relatively unused and lonely. 

This year, I have to say I am most excited because I get to meet some of my “besties” from the blogging world that I’ve never met in person. (Holla Kam and Liz!)  We’ve watched our kids grow from toddling little ones to spirited pre-schoolers and beyond.  We’ve been around for the birth of new kiddos too, stalking Facebook and Twitter and blogs for pending birth announcements (well, okay, maybe that was just me).  We’ve encouraged one another and been true friends, even if we’ve never sat down over a cup of coffee and bitched about life.  So to say I’m excited about BlogHer is really to say that I’m excited about meeting my friends and a few other authors of blogs I’ve followed in the past.  Oh, and it doesn't hurt that the conference this year is in The Big Apple!

My BlogHer ticket is purchased.  My flight is booked.  Hotel reservations have been made.  My sister is watching the kiddos for me.  And even though it’s still five months away, my biggest challenge will be “What should I wear?”

P.S.  I get to check an item off the new “101 Things to do in 1001 Days” list that is still at about sixty or so items and not yet published.

KONY 2012

Nothing is more powerful than an idea

whose time has come

whose time in now.

Sometimes I feel like I live under a rock.  I'm ashamed that I rarely keep up on the news or world events.  Most of my "news" comes from quick fixes from a plethora of apps on my iPhone throughout the day.  So when the KONY 2012 video made it's way around Facebook this week, I laid in bed one night and watched it on YouTube from my iPhone. 

My observations were simple: 

• I was actually "excited" that social media was being used in such a positive manner to get important information across to millions and millions of people.
• I was ashamed by the reminder of what a selfish person I am.  I really have no clue what's going on in the world.  So wrapped up in my own little world and my own little "troubles" and day-to-day struggles, I'm oblivious to world issues.
• I was inspired by the passion of those involved with this campaign and making changes.

The video has inspired me to keep my eyes open, to research more about the KONY 2012 "campaign", spread the word socially, and if nothing else, buy a bracelet to show support.

KONY 2012 is an international campaign by Invisible Children, aiming to bring Joseph Kony to justice.Joseph Kony is one of the world’s worst war criminals and I support the international effort to arrest him, disarm the lRa and bring the child soldiers home.

Pinterest Fun!

Like everyone else out there, I love Pinterest.  I’ve thankfully managed to stay on the very minimal side of using it though so far.  I know I could oh-so-easily be sucked in to the wonderful world of Pinterest.  But I'm holding back as much as I can for now. (All that photography inspiration is so very dangerous).
I used Pinterest for a little inspiration to redecorate my mantel. I simply just created a Mantel Inspiration board and posted things I liked that I found around the web.  What I created for my mantel and the pictures had actually pinned weren't all that similiar, but it's what got the juices flowing, so to speak.  

I also used Pinterest to gather Valentine’s Day ideas for pre-school Valentines. There were a million cute ones floating around this year.  I used Pinterest to collect ideas for my daughter’s 5th birthday parth.  I’ve pinned lots of things that I would love to try one day.  And I know that several of my friends are posting things to Pinterest that I would love to try – from recipes to craft ideas with kids. 

My goal is to try and use Pinterest sparingly and not be overwhelmed by the fun and wealth of ideas there!  On occasion, I may just even post a thing or two I try on Pinterest with success. 

For example, I loved this super easy idea for creating a wreath of balloons.  I made this and hung it on the door for my daughter’s birthday party.

Next up, I want to try my friend’s necklace storage idea here.

Oh, and you can find me on Pinterest here.

My Mental Block

Most days I feel like I need an extra few hours to complete everything I want to accomplish in a day. 
Ok, who am I kidding?  I think I feel like that every day!  I’ve tried mental to-do lists – which usually get lost in my frazzled brain.  I’ve tried the good ol’ fashioned write-it-down method of tracking to-dos.  I’ve logged them in spreadsheets.  I even downloaded an app to my iPhone and tried to manage to-dos that way.  No matter how I try to track to-dos, I never have enough time in the day, week, or month to get them accomplished.  As a full-time working mom of two little ones, I know it’s not an uncommon feeling, either. 

And here’s where I’ve accessed my real problem with trying to accomplish to-dos - I have a mental block.  

Let me take a step back for a moment.  I have OCD tendencies.  I’m a Type A, no doubt.  To those who know me well, I can hear you sarcastically saying “Really?”  It’s amazing how much raising two kids has put these OCD tendencies in check.  Here’s a good example of what I mean:  Before kids, I used to clean my house from top to bottom, in a particular order, with a particular order for each room as well, every single Sunday, without fail. Now, I’m lucky to run the vacuum once a week (and I have a dog and a cat).  I tried to go the cleaning lady route, but was not happy with the quality of cleaning.  (I have contemplated getting another cleaning lady and trying again).  I’d rather spend time with the kids than mopping the kitchen floor (although sometimes scrubbing a toilet is a welcome break from the daily chaos).  I don’t have the time to clean the way I like to clean, and I’ve come to terms with that. Life will go on and I’m okay with it.  OCD in check.

So back to my mental block…….. The issue is now that my OCD-tendencies that have been forced to take a back seat (a good thing), an “all-or-nothing” phenomenon has taken over (a bad thing).  If I can’t do something 110%, I often choose to simply not do it.  This usually applies only to my personal “wants”.

If I can’t run on a regular basis or blog on a regular basis or edit photos every evening or start a good book or watch a favorite TV show or even manage to have houseplants and keep them alive (all my “wants”), I prefer to ignore them.  That leaves me feeling a little sad because it’s another reminder that I’m not Superwoman. Some people can do everything all of the time and make it look effortless while doing so.  I’m not that person, and it’s hard coming to terms with it.  I completely understand the need to meet my wants on a somewhat regular basis – a happy mom is key to a happy home. 

So why is it so hard for me to understand and accept that it’s okay if I can’t give 110%?  If I can only run once a week, at least I got in a run.  If I only get a chance to edit photos that I took several weeks prior, at least I’ve captured the memory.  TV and new shows will always be there.  Books will continue to pile up on my night stand and one day I will again be able to devour books like I used to do.  I need to learn to better balance and enjoy a little bit of everything even if I can’t do it the way my old OCD tendencies want me to do it.  I need to loose the “all-or-nothing” mentality and break free from the exhaustion (the “all) and the sludge of inactivity (the “nothing”). 

I can’t do everything all of the time.  I just wished I was okay with only "half-way" doing things.

First Day - March 2012

On the 1st of every month, I'll snap some shots of my normal everyday life.  The first of this month was not a very "typical" one for me.  I left the house by 7:30 a.m. and didn't get home until after 10:30 p.m.  It was a long day away from my girls, but I had a nice evening out with some co-workers. And in future months, I promise to just post the pictures and not babble on and on and on.....
(I took all the pictures with my iPhone.  I gave Instagram a try, but I now see that all my pictures are blurry and I'll pick another app next month.)

My day started off just like an typical weekday morning.  I hit snooze way more times than I should have, and I woke to the cat purring and sleeping on my upper body.

Usually when I wake, no matter how early it is or how quite I am, one of my little munchkins can just sense I'm up, and they feel the need to join me.  This morning, Tee woke an hour earlier than normal and I could not convince her to go back to bed.  And yes, she wore the hippie bandanna all night long.

Shortly after Tee woke up, little Vee followed. 

And amongst the morning chaos of me trying to get ready for work, put make-up on and entertain two kids, the dog started barking downstairs that he needed to go outside.  And once he starts barking, there is no stopping him - old guy has a small bladder.

When the girls wake before I leave for work, I usually start them on a very quick breakfast while I'm making my tea and gathering my items for work.  Auntie Tina (my brother's wife) finishes up breakfast when she comes over to watch the girls.  She's there "nanny", and it's nice to have family watch the girls and me not have to bundle them up to head out the door with me in the morning.

It never fails when I'm running late for work, I need to stop and fill up my car because it's on fumes. 

Thankfully, my commute wasn't too bad.....just a little slow due to the rain.

View of my building from the parking deck.  In the background on the right, the building with the peaks was the first building I worked in after I graduated college.

My cube.  I work here three to four days a week, the other time from home.  My wonderful co-worker brought in potted flowers for our team to help us "Think Spring".

Part of my morning routine.  Located within my building.  It's dangerous.

Auntie Tina sent me this pic of Vee.  She only gets her binky in her crib, so sometimes she'll ask to go in there.  In this case, she's making up for lost time with two pacifiers in her mouth.

Another picture from Auntie Tina during the day.  They don't get to watch much TV, but when they do, they are glues to it.  And the cuddling with one another doesn't happen all that often.

After work, a few co-workers and I get together for dinner and a show.  We head for tapas.  Yummy!  I had creme brulee for dessert.  Let's just say I need to get back on my Weight Watchers program real soon.

This was a show written by the Ephron sisters.  I laughed quite a bit! 

This is the time on the clock as I'm heading home.  Long day away from my girls.

Auntie Amy watched the girls in the evening.  Verity was in her crib fast asleep (and I didn't dare go in for a picture as she surely would wake), and my sister and Tee were fast asleep in Tee's bed.

 

End of Day!

I'm linking up with an old blogging buddy on the first of every month. Our feisty five year old daughters are only a month a part, and it's been fun to see them grow over the years.  I love this idea of simply taking pictures of the normal, every day happenings on the first of each month for a little log of what life is like.